My answer was always, "Not yet..."
My dad would come upstairs and peek in the door. I'd say, "Just 5 more minutes, to finish this up." And in about 10, I'd make my way down the stairs.
As I got older, I began to realize the only way I'd ever truly be on time was if I started to get ready two hours in advance. So, I'd wake up early, blare my music, and give myself lots of positive self talk. And after all was said and done I'd have about 5 minutes to spare. So there, I had found the secret to being ready and on time.
And then I got even "older," and I went off to school and I attempted to keep my system going. To get up early, be positive, have my 5 minutes to spare. But I remember so vividly, my junior year, I heard it out of no where...
God asked me, "Meghan, are you ready?"
Naturally, I replied, "Not yet..."
And I thought like my dad He'd give me the time I needed. He’d peek his head in and I would say, "Just 5 more minutes, to finish this up."
But that was not the case. Instead, I found myself outside the closed door, crying. Pleading for the time I needed to finish up this area of my life that had just been closed. And even though I’d only ask for 5 more minutes, Lord knows I needed double the time—and even then, I’d wouldn’t be satisfied with how it turned out.
Seeing doors close is really scary. Usually, there is something or someone left inside the door that you had envisioned coming along your journey with you.
However, I learned during this time that even though God had closed a door, it didn’t mean that part of my life was over. He was holding my hand diligently, reviving my heart, and planting faith in my soul so that he could reopen the door to a brand new page. A bright, clean, crisp page.
Roughly two years later, He reopened that door with an even brighter future.
This past year, God went ahead and asked the dreaded question again. “Meghan, are you ready?” With so much of my life in place, settled, and perfect…my response was so much more than a not yet. I tried and tried to let myself back in, but this door seemed completely closed.
I was devastated. This was not in my plan. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how God could revive this one. This summer, when this door reopened, I was more than skeptical/cautious/worried. But I was instantly reminded of how I felt two years ago, when another area of my life had felt out of place and out of whack and how easily God turned it around, made it new, and blessed me more than I could imagine.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
-Matthew 7:7-8