I vowed when I went back to school in August that if I didn't teach my seniors anything else, I'd teach them accountability.
Accountability. According to Merriam-Webster, accountability is a noun...
"the quality or state of being accountable; especially : an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions"
If you ask me, it's a verb. Accountability is something we must do. It's something we must learn and live by. It's something we must teach our children. It's also something I don't see enough of. And something our world desperately needs.
I won't lie or sugar coat. I've messed up at least a million times...and some days--most days, I don't feel like taking responsibility for it.
It's easy, to blame my mistakes on other factors--stress, anxiety, alcohol, sadness, what have you. And I usually do.
But for the big uh oh's, the big mistakes, the kind an eraser can't fix...I have to step up and say I'm sorry. I messed up. I did a bad thing because my heart wasn't in the right place and I feel bad/icky/sad about it. I don't want it to happen again.
It's hard to say that. It's hard to own up to things we don't want people to know. Because we're ashamed and scared of being vulnerable. Scared of letting people know what's going on in our heart to make us act so damn mean.
But in light of recent events (yep--Alton Sterling), I just can't see how people can not step up and take accountability of their actions. Is your heart that hard? That cold? That empty?
I'm not one for politics. I'm really not. I've said it before, I'll say it again--the sadness and the pain and the suffering that goes on, day in and day out. The injustices we see for women, men, and children of color or minority or certain religion deemed un(fucking)american is not a political problem. It's a heart problem.
And it's beyond bad. With Alton Sterling's story-- I just see another instance of seeing a difference where there isn't one-- of choosing hate over love. As a whole, it's time to check our hearts, look for love, and be accountable for our actions.