In either form, muse is good word.
To muse upon ideas/notions is what I miss. To be a muse, is what I strive for or what I wish to obtain.
I haven't taken the time to muse upon much these days. Simply because I'm too tired to think at all. Or too frustrated. Or too upset. Or too this or too that.
To know that I have consciously made the effort to put little to no thought into my thoughts, is well, worrisome.
I do this all the time. I overthink. I overreact. I attempt to doctor...absolutely anything and everything...in my path. Because, if I'm proactive, on the doctoring--well then everything will get better--right?
I haven't been very proactive lately though. In fact, I've been under active, almost lethargic in thought, growth, emotion, physical activity, you name on it--I have not done it. Hah.
Maybe the numbness and the slowness and the stillness itself is a muse though? Maybe the muse doesn't always have to take you by surprise or capture your undivided attention or be accompanied with a roaring momentous ah-ha!
Maybe the steadiness and sure soundness, the constant, quiet, patterned moments, thought, and emotion is it's own kind of muse. A muse that remains until it is found. That waits for you to stumble upon it, even though it's been there all along. The patient kind.
I've missed you so--muse, is that you?